The Case of the Disappearing Dude

Why is it that when a guy no longer wants to communicate with you (for whatever the reason may be:  he's cheating on his girlfriend with you and you never knew he had one, your breath smells, he couldn't take your excessive shopping habit) he just goes AWOL? When did men lose common courtesy and respect for women? It's bad enough that we have to now deal with men txting to ask us out or not wanting to commit to a relationship; but to end all communications with out any explanation is just a really pussy way to tell a girl "you're just not that into her."

Continuing with my online experience, I recently met a guy who we will call the Chef. We met on a Saturday night at a bar in Delray. As is always with this online thing, you never really know what the person is going to look like in person...Will they be cool? Will they be 400 pounds? Will they have 3 eyes and 12 fingers? Pleasantly, I was surprised when the Chef walked into the bar. He was tall, handsome, and better than what I expected. We had a really fun time that night. I couldn't believe it, but when he walked me to my car and gave me a good night kiss I actually had that giddy/tingly/excited feeling! On my drive home, he txted me to tell me he had a really nice time and wanted to see me again ASAP! From there, we went on to talk every single day....We hung out a few more times and I was actually really starting to like this guy. Of course I still had my guard up, but I was actually excited when I would wake up to daily "good morning, babe" txts. However, there were a few things that were a little off with him. He favored the day time dates more than the night time dates (who looks cute in the bright sun light???), he had to cancel a few too many times because he all of a sudden had his son (and really, who is ever going to question that reason to cancel a date? but I should mention my profile clearly states, "NO BABY MAMA DRAMA") and he never invited me to see his place. I figured this was all part of the dating process (you know, that whole compromise thing) and things would iron themselves out as we continued to get to know each other.

After about a month of talking and hanging out, he finally came over for dinner. This was my chance to dazzle the Chef with MY cooking skills. After all, they say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, right? He showed up late, was only at my place for about 2 hours and left before midnight. This was odd....Was he going to turn into a pumpkin as the clock struck 12:00?  Why would he drive all the way down to stay for such a short period of time and not enjoy the evening and bottle of vino with me? He again, txted me when he got home and told me he had an "amazing time with me as usual." I went to bed that night and in my gut, I knew something was kind of off.......

The next day, I invited him to join me the following night at a VIP opening of a hot new restaurant on the beach. He simply replied "no thanks, but I'm available to hang out during the day." Okay....ODD. No explanation, just "no thanks?" My gut is starting to really churn at this point. I said I had lunch plans, but agreed to hang out afterwards and could possibly be convinced to even blow off my event to hang out with him should the evening take us that way.  The following day he txted me the usual "good morning" and when I replied to ask what time we would be getting together he never responded. He txted me at 3pm in the afternoon, "how is your day going, babe?" How is my day going? HUH? WHAT? Didn't we have plans to hang out? How is my day going? Weren't we supposed to be laying on the beach together by this time? I was irritated and didn't respond. The night came and went and I didn't hear from him again. I decided to initiate contact and emailed him the write up of the restaurant I had invited him to. He replied, "what happened to you, I've not heard from you?" Again......what?? I replied that I thought we had plans the day before and he blew me off. This is the point he went AWOL. That was it. No response, no reply. I tried to reach out and asked him if he was not replying back to me due to the chicken enchiladas I'd made for us. Perhaps I should have made beef enchiladas? Maybe I should have gone with an Asian menu? Nothing.

How do you go from talking every day, dating and getting to know someone to completely just disappearing into the wind? Didn't I just go thru this very situation with Oil Boy a few months ago? Maybe he and Oil boy were in cahoots and thought it would be funny to make me start to fall for them and then kick me in my stomach when I started to let down my guard. The situation makes zero sense. I guess I will never get closure and can only look at is from the perspective that I clearly dodged a bullet because the Chef was NOT the person I had started to like.

I have decided to take down my online profile. I guess it just really isn't my gig after all. I did go into the idea of it as an experiment for this blog and actually found someone I really liked.....only to find out he is just the same as all the other dudes out there.

Lesson Learned: Online dating is no better than meeting someone at a bar.